Thursday, July 29, 2004
testify to love...
for as long as i shall live, i will testify to love... oh man i love tt song... now listening to it...ya well today's a relatively nice day... slackest day of e wk... then i went dwn to church for e choc and card making... was pretty fun... reached church at lyk 2 30, then helped fiana n jia en wif e preparations... then seekers came at 3 30... ya, xiao ling's friends jing yi, grace and jonice came, plus jia xin's fren jing li, grace's friends ann, grace, veronica, karmun... wah we had three grace(s)... hahaz... our own ppl who came dwn were fiana, jia en, yingrou, jia lin, jia xin, grace, xiaoling... yep... but then was v hard to talk to grace's friends... xiaoling's friends were easier coz i noe jing yi n jonice... ya... but was trying my best to talk to grace's friends n din exactly succeed... rapport not there... then i had to leave early for dance back in sch... but at least managed to invite veronica for nxt fri's street bandy (hockey) game... oh well... even so i was quite disappointed wif myself... cant build e rapport... haiz...
but somehow today's event made me realize how much i missed events... din realize until today... missed e excitement when u noe u gg to build rapport, e fear when u noe u most prob u gg to share n get -ve responses, e elatn when u noe u gg to give ebs... i missed them SO much... today got one dose of it... hahaz
oh ya, hahaz, street bandy's a real fun game, nxt fri aftnn, free any1?? come dwn ya? hahaz... oh well... got bio, hist, lit, maths to study... better go mug le... see ya ard ya? hopefully nxt fri... :)
xiao jo
@ 11:47 PM
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Wednesday, July 28, 2004
philo...
hmmx... am SOO sick of maths... due to my poor maths results my "helpful" maths teacher gave me loads of maths to do... argh wateva... seriously sian alrdy... ya thinking of switching over to revising philo... today talked abt how we learn a language... not so simple la... n ya i see words lyk conditioning, stimulus, response, reinforcement, association, intrinsic... argh... oh well got loads to revise la... ya...
hmmm... think i go revise philo le... then go back to maths... then oh ya hav to send spire proposals to jeremy... hmmm ya then still hav to revise history... n prepare geog presentation... oh man... so busy... bleah... ok la busy still typing here... betta zao alrdy... prob blog later la... cya ard :)
xiao jo
@ 9:40 PM
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is1105
lalala... it's actually is1105 period now, but then we are allowed to go wherever we want to do research for e proj... so since i research le while e rest reseaching i blog alittle la... hahaz...
hmmmx... life today's sorta better... oh hi shiwei... hahaz jus saw him come into bytez... yep well today's e ntnls, smth lyk track meet finals la... ya j1s compulsory to go but ip students not excused, so i not gg la... anw got lots of things to do, and my kor not running so no pt la... hmmm well... ok la think i blog later... not too good lyk i blog then my grp members working... yep see ya later... :)
xiao jo
@ 12:45 PM
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Tuesday, July 27, 2004
--
hmmmm... looking at my entry ystday, really seemed lyk i was counselling myself... but don u lyk e illustration? i think it's really nice la... hmmm...
ya today's a little better... but i guess i'm still in e same valley, just prob a step towards getting out of it... so donno how long i'll still stay there la, but hopefully i'll b able get out of it soon... it's not nice to be always dwn u noe..
well basically today was super slack la.. pe, then maths, then geog, then chinese... and aft lunch e entire cohort of ip students had to attend this genome talk... bleah was so tired i think i slept half e talk loh... bt aft tt went wif shi wei, helena and ho fai to anchorpoint to exchange e sizes of our outfit for ntnl day performance in college.. giordano.. yep.. n wah anchorpoint was lyk far frm my place la... hmm think far's an understatement... anw, ya aft exchanging we went haagen-daaz for ice cream... hahaz, n sam joined us there... oh well... then coz tml hav to hand in e superman comic thingy i went home early...
ya now more or less completed my today's work and revision... quite glad la... prob will sleep early tonite... ya, n i also asking ard if any1 free on thurs, coz my church got choc n card making at 3 30... gg to b fun la... i'll chong dwn aft sch, then leave church early for dance back at nj... ya... but really hope whoever reads this can make it and inform me... yup ok la i betta go pack bag n sleep le... nitez ppl.. :)
xiao jo
@ 10:43 PM
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Monday, July 26, 2004
why?
i must say, today's a v bad day for me... shall not elaborate here coz it's rather personal, but it had really affected me pretty badly, and i must say it's a combination of hurt, fear, struggles within myself, lost and irritation... pretty weird huh? i really donno how to describe this but ya, tt's wat's happening...
oh well, u noe the thing abt blogs? some ppl are just too frank abt wat's happening in their lives tt they practically spill everything out in their blog, yet some ppl are jus too conservative, or to put it not so nicely, fake on their blog. it's as if life is bliss for them, and there are no probs, troubles, etc etc... i don mean to shoot anyone, but seriously tt's wat i think, n thus i'm trying v hard to strike a balance in btwn...
define "struggle". According to dictionary.com, struggle means "to make a strenuous effort". i myself define "struggle" as something against my own will. all of us face struggles, be it physical, mental, psychological or emotional. i've nv come across someone who has nv experienced pain, never experienced fear, never experienced hurt. face it. there has never been, and never will be. but i suppose it's e way we deal wif the struggles that is important, as tt's what builds us up. it is not easy, neither is it comfortable (come on, it's not called "struggle" for no reason), but it is thru painful processes that a beautiful thing can be obtained.
I always lyked this little illustration in the form of a story. a potter took this clump of red clay and started to shape and make it into a teacup. he rolled and patted e clay over and over until it yelled out, 'Let me alone', but he only smiled, 'Not yet.'
then the clay placed on a spinning wheel where it was suddenly spun ard and ard and ard. the clay screamed for the wheel to stop, but the master said, 'Not yet.'
Then the clay was put in the oven, where intense heat burned dwn on it. it yelled and knocked at the door, asking to be let out, but again the potter said 'Not yet.'
Finally the clay was placed on the shelf, and it began to cool. But not long aft, the potter brushed and painted it all over.The fumes were horrible and the clay cried for the potter to stop. He only nodded, 'Not yet.'
Then suddenly he put the clay back into the oven, which was twice as hot as the first. the clay begged. pleaded. screamed. yet all the potter said was 'Not yet.'
After a while the clay thought it cldnt take it anymore, but the door opened and it was placed on the shelf. An hour later the clay saw it's beautiful reflection in the mirror.
The potter said to the clay, 'i noe it hurts to be rolled and patted, but if i had left you alone, you wld hav dried up. i noe it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if i had stopped, you wld hav crumbled. I knew it hurt and was hot in the oven, but if i hadn't put you there, you wld hav cracked. I now e fumes were bad when I painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you nv wld hav hardened; you wld not hav had any color in ur life. And if I hadn't put you back in tt second oven, you wouldn't survive for v long becoz e hardness wld not hav held. Now you are a finished product. You are what I had in mind when I first began with you.'
Nice huh?
This story always reminds me tt God noes wad He's doing for all of us. He is e potter and I am His clay. He will mold and make me, so that i may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good, pleasing, and perfect will. He may need to place some struggles in my life to strengthen my character so tt i may be strong in the days of greater adversity.
There are times when i do get discouraged when e struggle seems overwhelming. but i trust tt God noes exactly when to pull me out and deliver me from tt problem, n when He does so i'll be able to b wiser and stronger than i was before. He noes my limits, n i believe He'll nv give me more than wat i'm able to withstand, thus struggles in my life are jus e building, not tearing dwn, of my inner strength.
i struggle. i cry. i fight. but i really hope tt thru all these my character n inner strength is built, n i'd b moulded into a person aft His heart. may my view of struggles change..
xiao jo
@ 11:14 PM
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Sunday, July 25, 2004
...
hahaz... ran 8 rounds round e mjc track today... coz mj's just below my flat... oh well... felt lyk a traitor gg into mj... as in lyk betraying nj... hahaz... hmmm... now super sian la, hav to mug for chinese test tml and doing my superhero comic assignment... then later my dad wants to meet me... argh... i mean, it's really not as if sitting me dwn can improve things... ok prob e reason y my maths results went dwn e drain e first half of the yr is coz i spent so much time on dance -- dance nite, college day... but how do u explain my this term results, when i had been studying lyk wat? i seriously don see e point la...
ya for service today was e baptism of pei xian and jing yu... cld see His grace in their lives n really wanna thank God for them... yep... n our composed song 《他发出的亮光》was played as e postlude... oh yeah... tt song rawk man... our own church youths composed ourselves... hahaz...
ya today basically nth much, e usual stuff of bible study in e morn, then service, then lunch, then fellowship... tho today my zone went annex for games n sharing... yup... then coz i din prac my piano this wk so cldnt go for ya ebs training... oh well... then piano lesson loh... ya...
hmmm... blog later ba... now hav to concentrate on my assignment... but i'll include e lyrics for 《他发出的亮光》here... enjoy... :)
《他发出的亮光》
这个世界 是否变了样
要走的路 是否更艰难
人的心肠 是否更黑暗
你的感觉 是否和我一样。。。
你在世上 是否有平安
是否渴望 有个避风港
未知将来 是否更迷茫
但有一人能为你带来希望
他 发出的亮光
能把你带出黑暗
因他为你受尽鞭伤
被钉在十字架上。。。
哦他 任发出的亮光
能照耀你的前方
因他就是人子主耶稣
掌管世界万物之王。。。
Lord you rawk... :)
xiao jo
@ 9:29 PM
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bleah....
oh well... v tired now... am doing my wp assignment la, the one on e superhero thingy... so boring... argh... wateva...
later still got piano lesson, sian... then i think i'll go run ard e estate la...wanna go lose some weight n get running into my regime as much as possible la... yep... aiya my dad's gonna sit me dwn for some talk later... bleah... oh well...
hmmm, blog more later la, try to do as much work as possible now...
xiao jo
@ 5:48 PM
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Saturday, July 24, 2004
dance!
lalala... hahaz today i ran wif helena 8 rounds round e track... aft dance la... hahaz coz she need to warm up for some swimming competition n i wanna run too... v long nv run le ma... then jus nice got someone to accompany me so ya... hahaz... hmmm, parents teacher meeting today. bleah... according to my dad my mentor and maths teacher said tt western dance's affecting my studies, blah blah blah, and they wanna sit me dwn to discuss.. wah give thanx not today man, tho i'm v sure it's tml... come on it's inevitable... oh well... speaking of which, western dance RAWK bigg time!! we finished choreographing e entire ntnl day dance today, plus formation, jus left polishing... oh yeah... hahaz... so happyyy.... :) ya, then aft dance went dwn to church to meet yingrou, then training there too.. those who noe noes, those who donno, donno... *crap* oh well... bleah... doing assignment on superhero comics now... hav to hand in on wed la... ya, tried to borrow comics frm shiwei, but to b honest they were sorta useless... sorry shiwei if u reading this... as in they were not applicable to wat i hav to do... ya... hmmm then i think i better go search online for comics le la... prob will blog again at say 1? hahaz oh well, see ya ard... -wink
xiao jo
@ 11:32 PM
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:)
lalala... hahaz it's 12:05 am... ya i'm still awake... studying la... wat else can i do??? drank coffee at 9... champion rite... so cant sleep la, so yeah decided to study... lalala... hmm now alittle more tired le, just now was lyk i cld do all e maths questions in my txtbk la... oh well, jus taking a break frm studying, later continuing wif maths la... just now was writing some reflections for e ip enrichment wk... best part is hav to write in chinese... wah i wrote in english then go translate over to chinese... hahaz... as in brainstorm in english then write in chinese la... sun lao shi will kill me if she noes... hehez... oh well...
njc ip students had two wks of enrichment, for those who donno... ya, let me update... these two wks are filled wif enrichment modules, in which u sign up for... they hav maximum quota of ppl, so first come first serve... ya, but in e two wks muz clock at least 45 hrs la... then also got compulsory modules lyk maths, higher chinese (can any1 believe i take higher chinese??), and some quarry visit in which geog was taught... hmmm, ya, examples of enrichment modules are rollerblading, windsurfing, aristotlian logic (sorry ah aristotle, donno how to spell ur name...), vocal masterclass, "the core" screening... hahaz, envious any1? :)
but oh well, to b v honest i think there are many side effects to this plan.. ppl who hav to write reflections don come here and copy ideas ah... anw, for 1, the quota was v low, and thus many ppl who signed up din get into e modules they wanted.. for example, me, wanted to sign up for vocal, but e quota was 20 ppl, n due 2 first come first serve i din get in... hey i can sing ok, i was frm dhs choir k... don cover ur ears... :P oh well, and since so, tho e timetable seemed to be relatively packed, those who din get into their choices wld hav e whole stretch of free time, all thanx to e rule tt we hav to be in sch for assembly... for example i had lyk 4 hrs straight free period today... err, or i shld say ystday, coz it's officially sat alrdy... ya, n having tt amt of free time for two wks is not fun ok... seriously, u begin to wish for things to do...
2ndly, it's the 3rd n 4th wk, mind u, in e middle of e term... it sorta spoils e study mood u see... lyk two wks of study, then suddenly two wks of slacking... then nxt few wks wld b super siong also... hope u guys get wat i mean... ya, n speaking of e nxt few siong wks i'm sure alot of ppl will get super stressed, n i don think it's too gd an idea... ya...
these two wks had seriously been v v slack for me... ok i try to study, but u noe wif e free time u seriously tend to procrastinate... so now u see la i hav to study more le... ya, so in my reflections i also included some suggestions, lyk having only 1 wk of enrichment... hahaz noe it's lyk super unusual tt students ask for less slacking time, but seriously la, i'd rather a more compact timetable than this, but more slack than norm timetable... n i also suggested tt they raise e maximum quota of ppl... ya...
oh ya, today we went to e teahouse... eh sorry ystday... ya, hahaz, we learnt how to pao tea... using tea leaves, then all e hu and small "cups"... hahaz... v cute bt all porcelain so had to b v careful... we drank e tea, then had cha ye dan... hahaz... was pretty interesting experience la... n they sold biscuits made from tea leaves... ya, but it was seriously ex la, 4 for $2.5o... well just bought la coz don think it cld be found in the market... so yep... e environment was nice, dim lightning, wooden tables, jap style, we sat on cushions on e floor... oh eh i meant dim lighting, not lightning... bleah... hahaz... yep it was fun la... hahaz... :)
wah i wrote alot le lei... better go study maths le... tml got dance!!! yay... err, i mean later... paiseh sorta lost track of time la... ya ok la, i go study le... maths here i come!!
xiao jo
@ 12:05 AM
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Friday, July 23, 2004
hmmmx...
hahaz... me in bytez again... bleah so sian... noe i'm supposed to study la but then lyk nv bring anyth to study, and oh well... hmmm just now was watching nemo in class... hahaz tt was how i spent my first 2 free hours...
hmmm... ya... later we gg to the tea factory... hahaz so fun... gg to see how they make tea, eat cha ye dan... hahaz... yay... wah now feel lyk drinking bubble tea le... kenna influenced by sun lao shi's "ye ye pao de cha"... hehez...
oh well, today also experienced His grace... this morn was having really bad gastric, then aft taking breakfast i had v bad stomachache... think it was e prawn in the noodles tt caused it... oh but anw, was having a real hard time just now in sch, yuen yi was my witness... ya, but now i'm sitting in bytez typing casually... seriously is His grace la...
ya, i'm actually supposed to meet albert now... but then he last min got stuff so cannot... hmm donno how to spend e nxt 2 hrs... yep...
wah, i'm tired... tried to edit my template last nite... so ya eyes abit blur now.... hmmm... nth to do now...
-dance!-
xiao jo
@ 10:35 AM
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Thursday, July 22, 2004
bored......
lalala... hahaz v bored now... coz enrichment week la so v free... hmmmx got maths and chinese later... bleahz... then also got rollerblading later... hahaz... ya then i still got testing of piano at my exam centre... hmmmx... hahaz... just crapping here... ya first entry since donno how long... e previous one got invalid la... donno how i did it also... champion la... hahaz... oh well... really VERY BORED AH!!! hahaz... bleah today no dance... ok actually got la but coz i got rollerblading so ya... so sad... oh well, but sat got la... yay... :) hmmmx... oh well... realize i'm repeating myself over and over again... just justifies my pt abt being so sian... ya... oh ya i just rbered... this morn saw quite alot of ppl giving out Bibles outside college... got approach me la but jus told them i alrdy a christian le... but really was really encouraged by their approaches la, that though ppl turn dwn n stuff cld really see the spirit la... aspire to be like that!!! hahaz yeah, um, oh, just received msg frm yingrou tt we having choc making on this coming thurs, 29th jul, which is lyk exactly nxt wk, 3 30 in church... oh yeah... hahaz looking forward to making chocolates... *gasp* OH NO!!! just realized got dance on thurs!!! argh... oh no... =( oh well blog some other day la kae... gotta leave bytez for maths le... see ya ard...
xiao jo
@ 11:00 AM
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